On Parenting Annoyances

As a parent there are a number of things which end up annoying you. It could be your toddler’s insistent questions that almost makes you wish you could tape their mouths shut. Or it could be the endless comments about your child’s weight/eating habits/routine/what not! But one of the most annoying things for me is definitely when my parenting is obstructed by other people who believe that they and their opinions or viewpoints about parenting has a higher precedence over mine about how my child is to be parented.

I don’t care if you are my neighbour, a stranger at the doctor’s waiting room or even the grandparent –  when it comes to parenting my child, I’m afraid that my word is final. Your advices about how to parent my child may or may not be followed as I see fit; that is my prerogative, my right as my child’s parent. What suited you or your child need not necessarily be the correct solution for me and my family so please do not try to force your suggestions down my throat.

While it is easier to fend off parenting interventions from random people, it gets really awkward when grandparents are involved. I’m sorry that this is news to you grandpa and grandma – but yes you do need to pay heed to the child’s parents’ wishes or instructions.

When I discipline my child, I don’t need you to butt in and say stuff like: “Oh leave the poor child alone!” “Don’t scold her, she is just a small child!” “Don’t get her all upset in my house!”. Nor can you overrule my parenting principles and state, “A little chocolate is good for you,” while shoving an entire bar of chocolate into her tiny hands or, “Kids these days are so smart! She can operate Youtube look!” when I have explicitly requested not to let her sit with a smartphone/tablet for hours together.

I understand that it is tempting to spoil and pamper your grandchild. And yet, that is simply not an excuse to overrule my parenting rules.

Look, I get it; I really do. My child is indeed blessed and fortunate enough to have caring and emotionally invested grandparents around. Honestly, I am grateful for all the support and love that you give us. I understand that it is tempting to spoil and pamper your grandchild. And yet, that is simply not an excuse to overrule my parenting rules.

I do not care if you have had 1 or 100 kids and you “have done it all”. Frankly, it should be common sense. Please do not try to bribe my child with cartoons or sweet treats and make it into a “Us vs. Amma” battle. Also do not say statements like “Tell Amma to go, don’t want amma” and other such utter nonsense. Because let’s face it, no matter what you tell my child and however hard you try to get her to be on your side, eventually she is going home with me and is most definitely going to live with me and off me for the coming years. And the only thing that you might succeed in achieving is to totally put me off allowing my child to spend time with you.

Ok. Rant over.

So what do you do to handle overzealous grandparents?

P.S: I think the second most annoying thing would be when people comment something negative about your child’s physical appearance to you. I mean come on. I am the child’s mother. Do you really think that I would agree with you or just keep quiet if you pass some adverse comment about the way my child looks?! If you have anything adverse to say about her behaviour, please do inform me and I will definitely look into the issue. Is my child being too aggressive with other kids? Well, I would certainly be thankful if you brought it to my notice and I guarantee that I will not get into defensive mode.

But physical characteristics? Once my mother informed some people who were meeting my child for the first time, “She played at the beach for too long these past few days… that’s why she has become dull (which means that she has tanned); else she looks better usually.” WTF???

“There is only one beautiful child in this world; and every mother has it.”

I don’t give a damn if you think my child’s hair is sparse or if you think she will look better if she was chubbier blah blah blah. I love her. I love her delightful curls, I love her petite frame, I love every single thing about my baby and be assured that I will literally bite your head off if you dare suggest otherwise.

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions and if you think that my child isn’t adorable, please feel free to harbour that illusion. Just don’t voice it to me. To me she is the most beautiful child in the world. So the next time you walk up to a mom and decide to say something negative about the child’s appearance remember: “There is only one beautiful child in this world; and every mother has it.”